23

Hi everyone,

I haven't wrote in a hot minute, but I made sure to come on and write something for my birthday which I've done for the past four years now. Wild, right? I'm now 23. That's like a real, true adult age. WILD.

I've also now graduated from university so I guess I'm a Bachelor now.

I have also been officially accepted into a law program so that's pretty cool too.

It sounds like I've got a lot done since last writing, but that's now really the case. Most of my life has been the same old same old. Except I am working full-time now at a zero-waste shop. It's going alright but idk, if I'm being honest I kinda hate it... however, it is just a regular minimum wage job so what else can you expect??

In my last post I kinda voiced how I was confused and a bit lost in life. I wish I could say I've now figured out the answer to life, but that hasn't happened yet. I'm still feeling very unsure of the future.

Even though I was accepted to law school (like wtf who am i??), I still don't know if that's the path I want to go down. On one hand it would be SO cool to be a powerful lawyer lady ruling the world and helping refugees. But on the other hand, I could just never return to school and not add to my already massive amount of student debt (which is really appealing tbh).

So I'm sorta stuck. And I'm putting off making any solid plans which is... probably not the best thing to do.

I guess I'm waiting for someone to tell me what to do. But that's not going to happen. Cos I'm a proper 23-year-old adult now and have to make my own decisions.

How FUN.

2015: 19
2016: 20
2017: 21
2018: 22

on feeling lost

hey guys, long time no talk.

sorry about that. i'm in my last semester of university so i actually have been doing a lot of other work. i highkey do not know how people manage to keep up with a blog/youtube and school and work. i feel like i don't have enough time to do it all.

although, that being said, i once had a prof who told me that if people say they don't have enough time, they're lying -- they just don't want to make the time.

i suppose that's true. if i pushed myself, i would be able to write a blog post every week. probably multiple, too. but you kinda just forget, you feel? i just forget to write and then before i know it, it's been 2 months.

i've had an alright start to my year. as i said, i'm in my last semester of university. in april, i'll graduate with a bachelor's degree in political science and history.

whenever i tell people what i study, they always expect that i can answer their questions about politics or history. i have one friend who texts me whenever there's a political event she doesn't understand. she'll just text like, "can you explain congress to me?"

but like... no, i can't. i've spent 4 years studying these subjects and i still know nothing.

when did ww2 end? idk.

why was trump elected? i also dk.

and this is why i feel so lost. because i'm not really passionate about the subjects i study, i don't care for typical careers. i don't want a government job, and i don't want to be a curator. i especially don't want to be a teacher, and i feel like that's definitely the 'go-to' career for my degree. but i hate these subjects, why would i want to spend my life teaching them to other people?

i guess it's normal to feel a bit lost before graduating. apparently everyone does. but you know what? it's actually really fucking inconvenient to not have a plan.

so yeah. the year has started off alright, but the closer we get to april, the more worried i become. it's real fun :)

p.s. enjoy this pic of me attempting to seem relaxed and care-free. it was a difficult persona to put on. 

my 2019 resolutions

Happy New Year -- I hope y'all had a good day and stuff.

I am back in the UK right now with my parents. I came back on the 11th of December and staying til the 8th. This year is actually the first in 10 years that we're in Scotland Christmas and New Years.

It's been nice. I forgot how big the UK is about Christmas.

There's Christmas edition of everything. And omg the amount of food. I have honestly not ate this many 'Christmas' biscuits and chocolates in... well, 10 years.

For New Year's, we visited family up in Aberdeen. It was good -- I drank too much and watched fireworks at midnight. You know, pretty standard stuff.

So, it's the time of year for resolutions. I've wrote my resolutions on this blog every year since 2015 which is real dedication yo.

I actually read over my last year's resolutions and, like... wow. I was really big on self-love. I'd say I succeeded, sorta.

Idk I definitely think over the past year I've stopped caring as much about what people think. Honestly, the clothes I wear will show you that. I've started wearing colours that don't always go together but I highkey don't care anymore. Is that self-love? I'll say yes.

This year, my resolutions are a bit more chill. A lot more chill:

1/ Stop drinking soda
I've became one of those people that drinks coke everyday. And I hate it. So I am cutting it out of my diet completely. That way, I'll be forced to drink more water -- which I've also been doing less than.

2/ Read more than one book this year
Being in school, I've lost my love of reading. I used to love reading. I would literally read a book a week, too. In 2018, I think I read 3 books. I want to beat that number. I finished one book yesterday, except I did start reading it last month. But I technically finished it in 2019 sooo I'm saying I've read 1 book so far this year.

--

Iona