welcome me back, please

hello, world!

i'm not sure if anyone will ever read this post, as it has been 3 years since i last posted on this blog and even then it was never a blog anyone read - it was more just a place for me to put my thoughts.

and this post is no different!

i'm not going to bore you with the details of what has happened in my life between thursday 12th november 2020 and today. but i will give you the highlights:

• i own a business now that sells mental health journals
• i'm married
• i'm currently homeless

the last point is kind of a joke - i mean, yes, it's technically true, but i'm homeless by choice. my partner (craig) and i gave up our rental apartment last month in favour of the nomad life. so, i am writing this post from my airbnb in scotland.

and it's a pretty nice place in comparison to where we were before. the apartment we rented for 2.5 years (in devon) was in an old building and wasn't actually very suitable for living. it was very cold and honestly i wouldn't be surprised if i found out there was black mould behind every wall.

so it's been very nice to live in a place that is intended for people to live in. i mean, windows can close properly? my washing can dry within a couple of hours? wow - i am truly amazed.

i thought it would be a good time to get back into the habit of writing on here.

although, i didn't expect to need to learn html. since i last posted, blogspot/blogger has had a bit of a birthday and looks a lot different. oh well, learning something new will keep me young.

happy friday 13th

okay, it's been a hot minute. i know that. but it would take a hot 10 years to explain what i've been doing so i'm just going to post a very vague blog post that will probably not really make sense to anyone but it might trigger some deep thoughts in you, so that's why i'm writing it. i've never really been good at keeping jobs. technically, my longest job was at a kid's clothing store in canada. i worked there for 2 years but for most of it i was only working one shift a week. because after 3 months, i knew i hated that place. but when i tried to quit, they were so nice and promised to work around my university schedule (which i blamed for quitting - it was a lie, obviously. i have never prioritized university). my truly longest job is the one i am currently doing. it's at a food store (i know, such an improvement). i started here october 2019. and i handed in my notice last week. i have multiple reasons for leaving this job. in one sentence, i'm basically leaving because my capitalist bosses are making us deny entry to people not wearing masks and there's a boy in england that i'd rather spend my time with. it's the type of situation that i'm likely to look back on and think, "wow i am such a stupid hoe." which like... true. fair enough. i'm giving up a full-time job in the middle of a pandemic. to move to england. and be unemployed. isn't life amazing? you really can do whatever the hell you want sometimes. is it a good thing? let's stay its a good thing!!! because the alternative literally gives me anxiety.

24 & who am i?

Hello to this space. It's been a while. Again.

For the first year since 2015, I didn't write a post on my birthday. Madness! It wasn't that eventful, it was during lockdown and also during my latest "who am i / what is life" phase. 

Honestly, I think it'd be a lot of hassle to go through everything that's happened this year. The important bits are that I moved back in with my parents, I now live in Scotland, and I now experience night terrors and sleep paralysis. I guess you could say I've had quite the glow-up. 

In actual good news, I've got into twitter. It's so freakin funny - did everyone know this? I always thought twitter was boring and only professionals used it. But that's what linkedin is all about. I only ever log onto my linkedin once a month. I take that time to like the newest post by the United Nations and then call it a day.

But anyway, I thought I'd start using this space a bit more to kind of... keep on top of my thoughts n shit. The sleep paralysis stuff is WACK, and I am hoping that will get fixed pretty freakin soon. I mean, I'm not sure what to do about it. Do I call a doctor? Ugh, what a hassle for real.

23

Hi everyone,

I haven't wrote in a hot minute, but I made sure to come on and write something for my birthday which I've done for the past four years now. Wild, right? I'm now 23. That's like a real, true adult age. WILD.

I've also now graduated from university so I guess I'm a Bachelor now.

I have also been officially accepted into a law program so that's pretty cool too.

It sounds like I've got a lot done since last writing, but that's now really the case. Most of my life has been the same old same old. Except I am working full-time now at a zero-waste shop. It's going alright but idk, if I'm being honest I kinda hate it... however, it is just a regular minimum wage job so what else can you expect??

In my last post I kinda voiced how I was confused and a bit lost in life. I wish I could say I've now figured out the answer to life, but that hasn't happened yet. I'm still feeling very unsure of the future.

Even though I was accepted to law school (like wtf who am i??), I still don't know if that's the path I want to go down. On one hand it would be SO cool to be a powerful lawyer lady ruling the world and helping refugees. But on the other hand, I could just never return to school and not add to my already massive amount of student debt (which is really appealing tbh).

So I'm sorta stuck. And I'm putting off making any solid plans which is... probably not the best thing to do.

I guess I'm waiting for someone to tell me what to do. But that's not going to happen. Cos I'm a proper 23-year-old adult now and have to make my own decisions.

How FUN.

2015: 19
2016: 20
2017: 21
2018: 22

on feeling lost

hey guys, long time no talk.

sorry about that. i'm in my last semester of university so i actually have been doing a lot of other work. i highkey do not know how people manage to keep up with a blog/youtube and school and work. i feel like i don't have enough time to do it all.

although, that being said, i once had a prof who told me that if people say they don't have enough time, they're lying -- they just don't want to make the time.

i suppose that's true. if i pushed myself, i would be able to write a blog post every week. probably multiple, too. but you kinda just forget, you feel? i just forget to write and then before i know it, it's been 2 months.

i've had an alright start to my year. as i said, i'm in my last semester of university. in april, i'll graduate with a bachelor's degree in political science and history.

whenever i tell people what i study, they always expect that i can answer their questions about politics or history. i have one friend who texts me whenever there's a political event she doesn't understand. she'll just text like, "can you explain congress to me?"

but like... no, i can't. i've spent 4 years studying these subjects and i still know nothing.

when did ww2 end? idk.

why was trump elected? i also dk.

and this is why i feel so lost. because i'm not really passionate about the subjects i study, i don't care for typical careers. i don't want a government job, and i don't want to be a curator. i especially don't want to be a teacher, and i feel like that's definitely the 'go-to' career for my degree. but i hate these subjects, why would i want to spend my life teaching them to other people?

i guess it's normal to feel a bit lost before graduating. apparently everyone does. but you know what? it's actually really fucking inconvenient to not have a plan.

so yeah. the year has started off alright, but the closer we get to april, the more worried i become. it's real fun :)

p.s. enjoy this pic of me attempting to seem relaxed and care-free. it was a difficult persona to put on. 

my 2019 resolutions

Happy New Year -- I hope y'all had a good day and stuff.

I am back in the UK right now with my parents. I came back on the 11th of December and staying til the 8th. This year is actually the first in 10 years that we're in Scotland Christmas and New Years.

It's been nice. I forgot how big the UK is about Christmas.

There's Christmas edition of everything. And omg the amount of food. I have honestly not ate this many 'Christmas' biscuits and chocolates in... well, 10 years.

For New Year's, we visited family up in Aberdeen. It was good -- I drank too much and watched fireworks at midnight. You know, pretty standard stuff.

So, it's the time of year for resolutions. I've wrote my resolutions on this blog every year since 2015 which is real dedication yo.

I actually read over my last year's resolutions and, like... wow. I was really big on self-love. I'd say I succeeded, sorta.

Idk I definitely think over the past year I've stopped caring as much about what people think. Honestly, the clothes I wear will show you that. I've started wearing colours that don't always go together but I highkey don't care anymore. Is that self-love? I'll say yes.

This year, my resolutions are a bit more chill. A lot more chill:

1/ Stop drinking soda
I've became one of those people that drinks coke everyday. And I hate it. So I am cutting it out of my diet completely. That way, I'll be forced to drink more water -- which I've also been doing less than.

2/ Read more than one book this year
Being in school, I've lost my love of reading. I used to love reading. I would literally read a book a week, too. In 2018, I think I read 3 books. I want to beat that number. I finished one book yesterday, except I did start reading it last month. But I technically finished it in 2019 sooo I'm saying I've read 1 book so far this year.

--

Iona

wow i haven't wrote in 3 months

Back in October, I was looking at my blog posts from this year and thought to myself, "wow, I've wrote quite a bit." I thought that maybe this year I would beat my record of 24 posts in one year.

But then I didn't write for... well, pretty much 3 months.

In my defence, I have been writing a shit ton for school.

I had 12 papers due this semester! A semester is 13 weeks long!!! It got kinda overwhelming and tbh by the time I was finished my assignments, I didn't feel like writing another thing

actual footage of me last month

Anyway, I've now finished everything and have a few weeks to do nothing before I start all over again in January 🙃

This was my second to last semester which is... kinda nuts. But also I'm excited to be done with school. Except lol I'm applying to law school which means I would have to do another 3 years. But idk if I will get accepted in anywhere. And even if I do, idk if I really want to go.

But what else do you do with a Political Science and History degree?? Either you do Law or teaching and I cannot go into teaching.

I don't think I'd be a good teacher because 1) I surprisingly don't know shit despite being in my 4th year of uni, and 2) don't like kids.

So I don't really know what's going to happen after my semester ends in April. But it's ages away -  I'm sure I'll figure something out between then and now.

Maybe I'll take a course and learn how to do eyelash extensions because those people charge a lot. $100 for and hour of work? Yes please. That's the same amount I'd make as a lawyer and I only need to go back to school for like 3 months!

I've also been watching lots of air traffic control videos on youtube and I know like half of the phonetic alphabet at this point. Yeah, I know, it's pretty impressive.

So there's lots of options. I'm not too worried that I have absolutely no clue what I'm going to do in 4 months time. I'm not worried at all ! !!!

homemade mac & cheese

Hi everyone,

I hope you're all doing well!

Since I wrote my last post, I have got a job. It's an office job on campus and it seems pretty chill so far. Well, the job is chill... some of the people who come into the office are not chill. I've been yelled at already by a lady for not "doing my f-ing job."

Lol. Gotta love customer service.

My classes have also started. This semester I'm in all fourth year Political Science classes. I'm a bit scared because I still don't really know much about politics. I seriously could not tell you what a "liberal" is.

Right now everything is fine, you know, because I don't have any actual papers or assignments due  yet. When I have assignments to hand in and I'm working every other day of the week, I think I'll be a bit more stressed. But I'm sure you'll hear all about it when that time comes.

And so, I wanted to write another recipe post before this blog become solely "life updates" and posts about how stressed I am. That way, I can still call myself a food and lifestyle blogger.

This is another easy recipe. You may think that the amount of cheese included in it is unhealthy, but that's not true. You see, because it's homemade, it's actually a super healthy dish. That's just how it works. It doesn't matter how much dairy, sugar, salt you use... if you make it yourself, it's healthy. Right?


Macaroni & Cheese
Ingredients
half a box of macaroni
1/2 cup of butter
cheeses: 1 1/2 cups grated Tex Mex/Colby Jack
              1 cup grated mozzarella
1 pack of shake n bake (or breadcrumbs)
milk

Method
1. in a large pot, bring water to a boil (about 6 cups) and add a liberal amount of salt into it.
2. add your macaroni pasta to the boiling water.
3. once the pasta is done, drain it and set it aside in a separate bowl/strainer. pour olive oil over it to stop the pasta bits from sticking together.
4. in the now empty pot, melt your butter.
5. add both cheeses to the melted butter. add the cheeses 1 cup at a time and pour in a little bit of milk to help everything stick together.
6. add your macaroni to this cheese sauce and mix it all together.
7. pour your macaroni and cheese in a baking dish and at this point you can add some more shredded cheese on top. if not, just add your shake n bake.
8. broil for about 5 minutes, but watch it so it doesnt burn.
9. eat :)))

leaving france (again)

Hi everyone! Happy July. 

So, today, my family is leaving France and moving into their new house in Scotland.

This past year has literally been such a bizarre year where my parents are involved. First, they wanted to move to France permanently. Then, they wanted only wanted a holiday home in France. Then, they thought again to live there permanently. And then, they randomly bought a house in Scotland. 

So that is where we are going today. 

I'm excited to go back to Scotland. I get to see my extended family and  I can fulfil my year-long craving for Sainsbury's jam doughnuts. 

But, I do feel a little sentimental about leaving France. I really like it here. I like going out in the morning to buy a baguette and get a café au lait. And I know I can do these things in Scotland (and Canada) but it's just not the same, you know? 

I hope I come to France again one day. Part of me thinks I definitely will, but then at the same time, I don't really have a reason to. I suppose travelling is a good enough reason, yeah, but if I'm going to travel a country in Europe, I should go to one I've never been to, right? 

But then again, I have no idea what the future holds. Heck, maybe I'll buy an apartment in France. Like a really cute one with high ceilings and a porcelain sink in the kitchen. Oh oh, and one with a little bakery downstairs where I'll go for my daily baguette!

Maybe that will happen, maybe not, who knows?

Anyway, I'm going to end this post here because I don't have much more to say. 

Last night, there was one of those purpley-pinky sunsets which I love. It's so nice to just sit out, relax, and take in the colours, you know? At the same time, though, it was 9pm and it was still 30 degrees when I took these pictures so the night wasn't perfect... but it was pretty good!

flapjacks recipe

Do you guys use grams or cups to measure baking ingredients?

I've always used cups. It's just so much easier to gage -- especially when you don't have an actual measuring cup. Then again, if I just remember that 1 cup = 150 grams, I suppose 150g would be easy to gage too.

I ask because I think I have a lot of readers from the U.K.

So should I use British measurements in my blog posts??

Or does it not really matter???

I mean, let's be honest, who really makes the recipes they read on blogs? Wait I take it back, I just realised that question could ruin my whole blog potential.

Okay so with that said, I have a recipe post today!

My family is moving to their new house this weekend so for the past 2 weeks we've been trying to use all the food in the cupboards. I think anyone who has ever moved house will know the struggle of trying to make a meal out of oats, jam and dried pasta.

We had 3 full boxes of oats (don't know why) and so I made flapjacks -- which is probably the easiest thing to do with oats, apart from make porridge. 

Easy Flapjack Recipe
Ingredients

1/2 cup coconut oil (instead of butter)

1/2 cup sugar

1/2 cup maple syrup

2 cups oats

Method

1. Melt together the coconut oil, maple syrup and sugar over a low heat. I think this is pretty much caramel -- or at least it could be?

2. Stir in the oats and then put the whole mixture in a pan and bake for 15-20 minutes at 190C.

3. That's it, really.