a weekend in spain

Hi everyone!

This past weekend, my family and I visited Catalonia which is about a 2 hour drive away from where we are in France. I know, who am I? I went to Spain for the weekend -- who does that?? 

Anyway, we stayed in Girona first (for one night) and then visited the city of Figueres on the way back, which is where Salvador Dalí was from and made all his stuff. What a weird guy. We went to his museum and tbh I was kinda scared.

GIRONA

Girona actually looks a lot like Florence or Pisa (if you've ever been to either of them). They all have a main river running through them with bridges going over. And yes, I do realise that description can fit literally every city that has a river in it... but these bridges have a specific look.

FIGUERES
We didn't do much here, we went to the Dalí museum for a couple hours and then went to McDonalds (it was Enzo's 4th birthday, and this is what he picked for his birthday lunch). We also visited the beach for a couple hours where I had an amazing nap! (And therefore, there are no pictures of the beach -- but trust me, it was very nice and sandy).

on feeling depressed (even in the summer)

i've had depression for 3 years.

i hate to say it that way, really, because it's weird - it doesn't feel like depression. i still believe that it's just me. i believe that this is just a personality trait.

"oh iona? she's the good listener with a poor outlook on life"

... but apparently it's not a trait.

because apparently it's not normal to cry so much. or to sleep so much. and i should want to eat 3 meals a day, instead of 3 meals a week.

i'm so use to thinking that i will never make it past this point in life and that i'm just not one of those people who is supposed to succeed or be happy. but apparently that's not normal

because, no, depression is not a personality trait. it is an "illness."

it wasn't always like this.

i thought i just didn't have energy and i didn't eat a lot because i was adjusting to university. and then when i started on the meds, i had hope that i would mellow out and get happier within a couple of months.

but it's now been 3 years and i've adjusted to university and i still have these thoughts. i'm graduating in april and i haven't mellowed out. i haven't gotten happier. i'm a bit pissed to be honest because i thought it was supposed to get better overtime, not worse.

but this whole depression thing it's like... i don't know... a banana that's out of date, and i don't have a compost bin. so i gotta sit with this black banana and flies are tryna get at it. that analody sounded a bit better in my head.

but, hey, at least it's summer, right? summers are fun! it's hot, you go on holiday, you go to the beach.

except the heat makes me feel even more tired and - oh yeah - i hate my body and now dread going to the beach.

my doctor said i should "give myself a chance to feel happy this summer"

as if i consciously choose to be sad.

hell, maybe i do. maybe i keep forcing myself to be depressed and that's why nothing is fixing it.

or maybe i should actually see a psychiatrist instead of a general doctor.

who knows?

22

via

Happy birthday to me!

This is the 4th year I'm making one of these posts. That's kinda cool, right? I think writing a blog is the longest hobby I've had. I mean I've wrote this blog for 5 years, and I had at least 2 other blogs before this one so that's probably like... 7 years.

I started my day by going to the market here in Capestang and had a coffee.

When I came home, my mum had bought like 7 pastries from the bakery for us all to try. We always visit this bakery, but only ever buy baguettes -- so it was nice to actually try all the cakes and sweets.

Unlike every year for the past 3 years, I don't really mind being a year older. It doesn't feel like such a big deal.

I think it's because I done a lot in the past year. I don't feel like I'm in the same spot, you know?

I think that's why I feel stressed at my birthday, because I am a year older but it seems like nothing has changed. But this year a lot changed so I just feel normal, I guess.

Does that even make sense? lol I hope so.

Long story short, I am not stressed to turn 22.

It's chill.

22 isn't even old.

where to eat in barcelona

I just got back from Barcelona yesterday, after 5 days of exploring the city. 

I have been there once before when I was younger, but can't remember anything other than the football stadium, for some weird reason. So it was really good to visit again and really see the sights!

... If truth be told, I was more excited to shop in Zara and eat paella than I was to see the popular sights. Not that surprising, though, for me shopping and eating always take priority over sight-seeing.

But it didn't take me long to realize that there are a lot of crap food places in Barcelona. 

So, I done what anyone would and googled "best places food barcelona," but most of the places that came up were really expensive. Which obviously is no bueno because I'm a poor student and can't afford €8 potatoes, you know??

So, instead of writing about what I done, I decided to do a helpful post and list out the best places I ate. 

A couple tips before I start:

1. Don't order paella if there's a picture of it in the window or menu. It isn't real authentic, it's frozen and;

2. Eating places around the Sagrada Familia are double the price of anywhere else. Even the McDonald's has different costs.

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M O N T J U I C

Carrer Blai

This is known as the "tapas street" because it's a long row of tapas restaurants. We tried quite a few of them and the best two were:

Blai 9 - By far the BEST place we tried. The tapas/pintxos were around €1.80 and the combinations were much more unique than the other restaurants. They had this nice octopus taco thing and one that was like a mini English breakfast. Plus a jug of sangria only cost €3.

La Tiza - This one was kinda hipstery and also one of the few that served desserts.

La Tasqueta de Blai - This one was probably the most authentic we tried. The pintxos were simple (really just cheese and ham) but they were only €1 so I can't really complain.

G O T H I C  Q U A R T E R

La Boqueria

If you're going to Barcelona, you must visit this market. It's a huge food market with everything from raw fish and meat to complete tapas meals with sangria. There are also a lot of stalls that sell these fruity smoothie drinks which cost €1 and they are stupidly good.

Chök

Just around the corner from la Boqueria, you'll find this donut store. Dude. I got a pistachio and hazelnut donut and I think I died and went to heaven, no exaggeration??? 

The Benedict 

One of the mornings, I was really wanting pancakes, so I made us walk around until we found this American brunch restaurant. It was the first time I had alcohol with breakfast, in the shape of a mimosa, but I gotta say I'm a fan.

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S A G R A D A  F A M I L I A

Timesburg

I think this is only in Spain, but it's for sure a chain. It's sorta fast food except it tastes like a real restaurant. They have like 15 types of burger to choose from, and you can get a kilo of fries for €4 extra.

Mendieta 

This is one of the many bars throughout Barcelona. If you go to Spain, you'll probably end up in one at some point. They sell food all day as well as coffees and alcohol.  This particular one was arouond the corner from our hostel and it was where I had the best café con leche in the whole week.

So that's all the places I recommend! It turned out to be a bigger list than I thought, I lowkey thought I would only remember 3 places and this post would be kinda weak. But I basically remembered 8 so way to go.
I don't know when I will write a post next, but I will try not to take too long.
I hope you all have a great week!

april

This post is a bit late. I don't really have an excuse.

Since finishing my classes in mid-April, I done nothing for the rest of the month. I couldn't even write a blog post because I was doing nothing.

However, I did leave Canada on May 9th to go to France.

I got here on May 10th after a day of travel. I had a 5-hour layover in London Gatwick where I definitely spent too much money on presents for my brother's and sister's birthdays (but I really hit two birds with one stone there -- bought birthday gifts AND killing time).

I also started my Summer classes on May 7th. I hope this Summer semester works out as well as last semester because my grades were soo good. I'm not even sorry for boasting!

I did think I would do well because I studied a lot and stayed on top of the work (despite feeling depressed as hell most of the time), but I never thought I would get an actual A.

Those are my first two A-grades in my whole four years at university. Considering the topics they're in, I'm thinking I should become... a healthy woman??

Talking about health, mine has actually improved, sorta. I had a particularly low period during January and February, but thanks to my newest medication, I am doing alright.

I'm on Bupropion (or Wellbutrin) and it has reduced both the low moods and the high moods. Instead of waves of emotions, I am a line. My mood never goes above or below a 4 on the "Rate yourself out of 10" scale. I say 4 and not 5, because there's never a time that 50% of me is happy or sad. It's at max a 40% increase or decrease.

Which isn't necessarily bad. I much prefer this to what it was before. I'd take no emotions over too many emotions.

So that's a quick update about my life. I am going to Barcelona next week so I'll write a couple posts about travelling in the weeks to come.

4-ingredient vegan crêpes

There's just a couple more weeks until I leave Vancouver to visit my family in France for 3 months. 

I am so excited to see everyone. FaceTime is great, but it's not the same, you know? Also: British TV. I am so ready to watch some Take Me Out and EastEnders. Lol.

I am also kind of nervous, though, because I know there will be some arguments. 

Every family argues, but with a family as big as mine there are like...  four a day. The good thing about living 8500 km from my family is that I have largely stayed out of these arguments (definitely not completely stayed out of them but I've done pretty well).

So maybe it's because I'm missing French life (or just because I have a craving) but I have made crêpes twice this week. Both times I have used a vegan recipe. 

I think I've really perfected the recipe because I made them today and they turned out the best yet. Now I just need to work on some sort of syrup for the topping.

Vegan Crêpes

Ingredients (makes 5-6)

1 cup flour

2 tsp baking soda

2 tbsp brown sugar

2 cup almond milk (FYI it does give an almond aftertaste)

Method:

1. Mix everything together 

2. Use a spoon to put enough of the mixture in your fry-pan to thinly coat the bottom

3. Flip when the top is covered in these sort of popped bubbles thingy

buttercream frosting

Hi everyone!

My classes have finished now, and I have a few weeks of absolutely no plans. So, I have been spending my days binge-watching The Mindy Project.

You know, shows like Friends and The Mindy Project really make me want to live in New York. And have a really nice apartment. But I'd literally need to be the CEO of Goldman Sachs to afford a house like that.

Anyway, yesterday I was watching the episode with Mindy and Casey's engagement party (not a spoiler, its season one and it was released like 5 years ago), and there's one scene with a huge cake, which made me crave cake, so I made cupcakes along with my own frosting.

The frosting is simple, actually, but I wanted to post it here anyway, in case anyone wants to use it 

and also so it's somewhere for me to find in the future.

Heads up, if you do make this it is really sweet and like one cupcake with this frosting will be enough sugar for a whole week. 

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Ingredients
2 mini sticks of butter (about 1 cup)
4 cups of icing sugar
1 tbsp vanilla extract
1 tbsp milk

Method
In a stand-up mixer, or with a hand-mixer, soften the butter before adding the icing sugar. It should be dry when it's mixed properly. Once the two are mixed, add in the vanilla extract, and add a little bit of milk until it's the right consistency.